#26 Important Thing 2

At least 10 times a day, Lore will catch my eye and say, 'Here." and then indicate with a nod of her head to what she's holding in her hand....... 

                                      It's  "Important Thing 2"

A life saving badge ...the kind that a life guard would have sewn onto their bathing suit . It reads....

                                           LIFE SAVING SENIOR

Every time that Lore shows me the badge, I pretend that it's the first time that I've seen it. It doesn't do any good to tell her that I've seen it before.... she won't remember when she shows me again in a few minutes and I would only hurt her feelings and make her feel that I'm not interested and/or she's not interesting.  

Once I said the 'wrong thing' and asked her "Oh, where did you get that?" An innocent enough conversation opener, right?  She was indignant, "You don't believe me that I did this?" I tried to explain , "No, no. That's not why I was asking." But she wouldn't hear it and put the badge away.  She wouldn't look at me for an hour. In my mind I'm thinking "Please , please, show me the badge again and again and again and again....and again.

She's showing me something that's important to her, making a social connection with as much conversational skill that the dementia allows. Sometimes she may be feeling lost or lonely and needs some interaction. 

Yes, maybe it's bothersome that she repeats something over and over. 

Think of a Mom dealing with a toddler who asks the same question or repeats a story a hundred times (or so it seems like). You learn to deal with it by having a stock pile of positive answers ready.

"Oh really!"

"Look at that!"

"That's so nice. 

"Tell me about that."

"You're so lucky to have that that."

"You must be a good swimmer."

I'm not saying that she should be treated as a child....it's just the way it is. It's part of the disease... and this is how I manage. For someone who is easily confused, they often loose the ability to entertain themselves. Sometimes suggesting an activity, causes added stress...with the inability to perform. Even simple tasks have to be broken down to step by step and the simple things can be equally rewarding.