#4 Can I help?

Mother Lore always asks. From the very first, when I came to live with her she would ask, "Can I help?"

 I can't let her cut vegetables during meal prep. Sharp objects are a problem... she could cut herself and that would be bad.  Can't iron the clothes....I was concerned that she would burn herself on the iron.

Can't sweep the floor.How could I ask a 90something yr old lady to sweep the floor?... she  needs a cane to walk!

 This was a challenge. How can she help? She wants to do something. Everyone wants to do something. Krsna in Bhagavad Gita says no one can refrain from dong something, not even for a moment.

 But what could she do? Slowly ideas came to me, when I stopped being selfish thinking, "it's easier to do it myself". So now there are some things that she looks forward to doing as her "job".

She dries the dishes after every meal... and sometimes there are alot of dishes. I put down a towel on the kitchen table and bring all of the washed items to her, so that she can sit down on the job. She lines the silverware in a row and is very meticulous and thorough, taking great pride in her work.  

After I've ironed the clothes , she comes with me into the bedroom and helps to hang them up.

When I change the sheets on her bed, she changes the pillow cases.

Before it's time for any meal, she sets the table. When we had company for lunch, they tried to "help" set the table and she chased them away with "Uh-uh." She was protective of her contribution.

If a button falls off a garment, I thread the needle and place it thru the fabric and then she sews it on. She sewed a button on one of my shirts and I hugged her and told her I would always remember that she sewed that button on. And I will.

She folds laundry and matches socks.

When a kleenex gets left in the laundry and evrything is covered with lint...I hate when that happens...I set her up with some sticky tape and she picks all the lint from a garment.

Admittedly, there were times that it was very frustrating. I would think, I can do this faster by myself. And sometimes there were arguments...."These are not my clothes."

 But it's not about me. It's about a person feeling that they can still make a valuable contribution to daily life....having a feeling of self worth.

                                              ***

Devotees have asked me, what can we do for Mother Lore? 

If you can visit, then please do. She's been napping a bit more, so call me or make some arrangement thru Padaduli and Rasikendra if you want....we'll arrange something. Lore is not able to engage in too many activities, but she loves to have visitors and talk.  It can be as simple as a "drop in to say Hare Krsna" sort of visit. Did you make dessert for your family? Bring her some cookies or a piece of cake. She loves flowers and she also likes balloons. The balloons from her birthday were around for about a month and were a constant subject of conversation and reminder of a happy time that she had with devotees who love her. Send a card..."thinking of you" would be appropriate...no "Get Well" expressions please. She doesn't know that she's sick. Even if she doesn't know you, that's ok....she won't remember that she doesn't know you. If she does know you, she probably won't remember that either.This is an opportunity have a personal exchange, it's about relationship. The core of personalism is not some philosophical argument...it's a way of life. Your relationship with all living entities, your pets, your children, wife or husband your parents, your godbrothers and sisters, Mother Lore, your Guru and God.