#2 Gute Nacht

Settling into a daily routine with another person in the house was an adjustment for Mother Lore. On one level she knew that it was the best thing for her, as she was not able to handle normal daily activities without assistance.But she is also fiercely independent and was quite unwilling to cooperate with anything that was less than total self sufficiency in her personal care.  Housecleaning and meal preps for her were ok in her mind. But it had become clear that shower assistance was necessary for her safety....and that was not ok. It's a very difficult mental adjustment to not be able to do for one's self anymore. 

I tried making a list of what to do in the morning .. but unless that came with an executive order signed by an attorney she refused to cooperate.

I tried to explain that shower came before breakfast (otherwise the shower was just not gonna happen) ....and she accused me of not wanting to feed her.

I called Dr. Gurubhakti for help. But that's a bit difficult for a Doctor to make house calls for a shower.

I tried beckoning from the shower, telling her how nice and warm the water was. A waste of water.

At one point, she said, that in her memoirs, she was going to write that the Hare Krsnas made her take a

shower.

Now , we've settled into a routine that is comfortable. But still, I have to be careful of "helping" too much.

Like with a child, I've found that most activities, with some type of routine become acceptable.

Bed time has also become a ritual of sorts. When she tells me "Gute Nacht" ('good night' in German. She's been teaching me German)and that's her cue that she's ready for bed. I take her arm and we walk to the bedroom. I put her nightie on the bed and then we sit on the edge of the bed for awhile and talk about the day. Then I make some motion about "what comes next" as she's become forgetful about simple dressing procedures... and she'll say "now what?". When she has her nightie on, I usually have to help with the buttons. Sometimes she'll  jokingly say "Ma Ma" like now she's become the child and I tell her that 'she's the little girl I'd always wished I had.'

Getting into bed is in on the count.... 1, 2 ,3 and she swings her legs onto the bed , except the counting is in German ein, zwie, drei. Sometimes it takes a bit more effort and the counting goes on to 4,5,6. Then, with hugs and "Hare Krsna. Gute Nacht."...I'm the one to turn out the light.

Srila Prabhupada chants 24/7 in the house.